Neil deGrasse Tyson Quotes That Are Weirdly Funny & Inspirational

Neil deGrasse Tyson

Neil deGrasse Tyson is one of the greatest astrophysicists on the planet. He is funny, geeky, nerdy, cool, and any quality a man can possess. His quotes are funny, inspirational, and geeky, obviously. He is the Frederick P. Rose Director of the Hayden Planetarium at the Rose Center for Earth and Space in New York City.
Neil deGrasse Tyson quotes from science, geekiness, and multiverse to his weird humor that'd make anyone laugh. Enjoy!

Neil deGrasse Tyson Quotes That Are Weirdly Funny & Inspirational

    Neil deGrasse Tyson Quotes

    A picture is worth a thousand words, except for pictures of words that contain between 1 & 999 words.

    Neil deGrasse Tyson Quotes That Are Weirdly Funny & Inspirational

    I dream of a world where truth shapes people's politics, rather politics shaping what people think is true.

    I want to live in a world where a Chicken can cross the road without anybody questioning its motives.

    A virus walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartenders respond, “Sorry, we don’t serve viruses”. So the virus jumps across the counter, invades their DNA, and turns them into bartenders who do.

    Don’t try this at home…. At a rate of one number per second, it would take you 31 years to count to a Billion.

    Four concepts that exist only in the negation of another word: non-fiction, un-retouched, a-theist, un-abridged.

    Odd, isn't it. Every reason given for Daylight Saving Time in summer months could just as well apply to winter months.

    A subject is scientifically controversial when actively debated by legions of scientists, not when actively debated by the public, the press, or by politicians.

    Evidence that Humans are smarter than Cats: We don’t chase Laser dots on the carpet. Nor do we fear Vacuum Cleaners.

    You know it's true… Every disaster movie begins with a scientist being ignored.

    Neil deGrasse Tyson Quotes That Are Weirdly Funny & Inspirational

    Geeky Physics Fact: If you die on your Birthday in the same hospital you were born, then your Average Velocity through life on Earth was zero.

    Every now and then I wish for more purple in the world. But then I wonder, in such a world, whether purple would still be special to me.

    Yes, the universe had a beginning. Yes, the universe continues to evolve. And yes, every one of our body's atoms is traceable to the big bang and to the thermonuclear furnace within high-mass stars. We are not simply in the universe, we are part of it. We are born from it. One might even say we have been empowered by the universe to figure itself out — and we have only just begun.

    I know that the molecules in my body are traceable to phenomena in the cosmos.

    That makes me want to grab people on the street and say, "have you heard this?"

    People cited violation of the First Amendment when a New Jersey schoolteacher asserted that evolution and the Big Bang are not scientific and that Noah's ark carried dinosaurs. This case is not about the need to separate church and state; it's about the need to separate ignorant, scientifically illiterate people from the ranks of teachers.

    Knowing how things work is important, but I think that's an incomplete view of what science literacy is or, at least, should be. Science literacy is an outlook. It's more of a lens through which you observe what goes on around you.

    If Pinocchio said, "My nose is about to grow!" I wonder what would actually happen.

    I wonder if the first sentence uttered by the first computer to achieve consciousness will be, “And, this too shall pass.”

    If you remove all food & drink from your life that make life worth living, I wonder if you'll live forever.

    I wonder how it came to be:  We sing the "Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" to exactly the same tune.

    If Bears were in charge, after they hunted us to near-extinction, I wonder if they’d invent a candy called Gummy Humans.

    Creativity is seeing what everyone else sees, but then thinking a new thought that has never been thought before and expressing it somehow.

    Some of the most productive times in the histories of nations have been when they were badly stressed — economically, politically, culturally or socially. It's possible to be stressed to a point that more creativity is stimulated than would otherwise be the case. I think it is true that necessity is the mother of invention.

    The best educators are the ones that inspire their students. That inspiration comes from a passion that teachers have for the subject they're teaching. Most commonly, that person spent their lives studying that subject, and they bring an infectious enthusiasm to the audience.

    Just a recursive thought: Every word used to define every word in a Dictionary is also defined in the same Dictionary.

    Sometimes I’m the last to know:  Just learned that in formal parlance the plural of “y’all” is “all y’all”.

    It’s not magic. It’s science.

    Neil deGrasse Tyson Quotes That Are Weirdly Funny & Inspirational

    I wonder if we will ever see a Truck Commercial on television narrated by an announcer with a high-pitch voice.

    I wonder if the past-tense of “Break Dance” is “Broke Dance”.

    I always wondered why the word "phonetically" isn't spelled phonetically.

    If a predatory enemy to our species can’t unite everyone on Earth to fight it, I'm left wondering what hope remains for Civilization.

    Seems to me, if Thor is a god, with godlike powers, then he doesn't really need big muscles.

    If you must know:  The word parsec is a contraction of “parallax-second”, the distance a star would be from the Sun if one half of its parallax angle subtended one second of arc.

    Nothing to tweet today, except for all those who wanted more space, the Universe continues to expand at about 70 kilometers per second, per Megaparsec.

    I’m just sayin’.

    Neil deGrasse Tyson Quotes That Are Weirdly Funny & Inspirational

    It has been said that every great emerging scientific truth goes to three phases: First people say: "It can't be true". Second they say: "It conflicts with the bible." Third they say: "It's true all along."

    I took two bites, bitch!

    You don't take a dead cat to the vet. I mean you might, but why?

    I'm optimistic. I see no longer people accepting fuzzy thinking in the world. The change is not that people aren't still saying under-informed things. The change is that if you're in power and you say something under-informed, there are people out there with a voice who will take you to task for having done so.

    The good thing about science is that it’s true whether or not you believe in it.

    The SCIENTIFIC METHOD: Do whatever it takes ensure you do not fool yourself into thinking something is true that is actually false, or that something is false which is actually true.

    At home, Pie are round. In math, Pi are squared.

    Don't mean to brag, but I’ve been pi-lingual from way back.

    More Geeky Chemistry Humor; If you are not part of the Solution then you're part of the Precipitate.

    Kids are never the problem. They are born scientists. The problem is always the adults. They beat the curiosity out of the kids. They out-number kids. They vote. They wield resources. That's why my public focus is primarily adults.

    My view is that if your philosophy is not unsettled daily then you are blind to all the universe has to offer.

    Some of the greatest poetry is revealing to the reader the beauty in something that was so simple you had taken it for granted.

    Words that make questions may not be questions at all.

    What is NASA's mission? Is it to beat the russians? Is it to inspire?

    If you want to assert a truth, first make sure it's not just an opinion that you desperately want to be true.

    Ibn al-Haytham was the first person ever to set down the rules of science.

    Science is a cooperative enterprise, spanning the generations. It's the passing of a torch from teacher, to student, to teacher. A community of minds reaching back to antiquity and forward to the stars.

    All I can say is, the universe is in a good shape, it's earth that has all the problems.

    As important as Steve Jobs was, no doubt about it — [and] you have to add him to Bill Gates, because they birthed the personal computing revolution kind of together — here's the difference: Elon Musk is trying to invent a future, not by providing the next app.

    Geeky Chemistry Humor for Foodies: If Avogadro’s number is 6.022 x 10^23 (which equals one Mole) then 6.022 x 10^23 Avocados equals one Guaca-Mole.

    Seriously geeky joke alert; Look away if you can't handle it….

    Would love to visit a Moon colony one day. But for me, a serious drawback is that the Restaurants will have no Atmosphere.

    Some of my best friends -- actually all of my best friends -- are made of chemicals.

    Not that anybody asked, but “Friday the 6th” is exactly as rare as “Friday the 13th”, itself arriving seven days later.

    Curious that we spend more time congratulating people who have succeeded than encouraging people who have not.

    The film "Ad Astra" loves showing weightless astronauts. But space is not inherently weightless. If your engines fire constantly because you're in a hurry to get to the Moon or to Mars, then the acceleration creates artificial gravity — at the rear-end of the ship. Always.

    In the film "Arrival" (2016) nobody wondered whether the circular patterns drawn by the creature were backwards. The septopoid Alien drew them from the other side of a transparent glass wall.

    I wonder if I am alone, thinking that Airports need more Ice Cream vendors.

    Need to cry at night, but don't want others to know? Look up to the sky. Your tears won't fall, and the stars will make you smile.

    Internet search engines have a way of affirming your hypothesis, no matter what you have hypothesized.

    Jet flyovers get me every time.

    Neil deGrasse Tyson Quotes That Are Weirdly Funny & Inspirational

    To be a Genius is to be misunderstood. But to be misunderstood is not to be a Genius.

    Imagine how much more advanced society would be today if women, who comprise half the world’s brain power, were socially & intellectually enfranchised from the beginning of civilization.

    I’m a fan of moderation, but only in moderation.

    Neil deGrasse Tyson Geeky Quotes

    I'm intolerant of intolerance.

    I'm occasionally asked; what’s the worst science-violating movie ever? My answer was Disney’s "The Black Hole" (1979) — until “Armageddon" (1998) came along, which violated more laws of physics (per minute) than any other film in the universe.

    On the Moon, where there is no air, airplanes, helicopters, and birds would behave no differently than tossed bricks.

    You can kiss yourself in the mirror, but only on the lips.

    Neil deGrasse Tyson Quotes That Are Weirdly Funny & Inspirational

    If you don’t embrace the methods, tools, & discoveries of science, your obvious next step is to dispose of your cell phone.

    If we discover alien life forms in the subsurface waters of Jupiter’s icy moon Europa, I wonder if we’d be compelled to call them “Europeans".

    Sometimes I wonder if pop-chips are just a temporary disturbance in the space-time continuum of potatoes.

    The best evidence I can muster that Humans are smarter than Cats is that we don’t chase Laser dots on the carpet.

    We are prisoners of the present, in perpetual transition from an inaccessible past to an unknowable future.

    Geeky dad-joke Alert;
    QUESTION: What do you call a molecular ring of six Iron atoms?

    /             \
    Fe            Fe
    |               |
    Fe             Fe
    \           /

    ANSWER:  A Ferris Wheel.

    Of course younger people are more concerned than older people about Climate Change.  In decades to come, they’re the ones who must live in the World that the rest of us have borrowed from them.

    Aeronautical Wisdom: A plane achieves greatest lift only when flying against the strongest winds.

    Research Wisdom: Those who Explore and never fail were never on the Frontier to begin with.

    Bicycle Wisdom: Only by moving forward do you not fall over.

    Roses are red, violets are....violet.

    There are three types of people in the world, those who know Mathematics and those who do not.

    Not that anybody asked, but all Table Salt is Sea Salt. Mined Salt just happens to come from long-buried, evaporated, prehistoric seas.

    A Blue Moon, the second full moon in a calendar month, occurs on average every two and a half years. So “once in a blue moon” is not entirely rare.  I’m just saying.

    Even though the Moon once had rivers (of Lava) flowing on it, the song “Moon River” is cosmically irrelevant.

    Not that anybody asked, but the Moon’s orbit is spiraling away from Earth at a rate of nearly 1.5 inches (4 cm) per year. In response, Earth’s rotation rate is slowly slowing, necessitating a Leap Second to be added to the calendar, every now and then.

    Science Literacy empowers you to know when others lie about objective realities.

    If you don’t embrace the methods, tools, and discoveries of science, the obvious next step is to dispose of your cell phone.

    The astrophysicist does not fear the dark because we know the night to be ablaze with light our eyes cannot see.

    Freedom isn’t free.

    Neil deGrasse Tyson Quotes That Are Weirdly Funny & Inspirational

    Mathematics is not about calculating things.  It's about understanding the operations of nature at their deepest level.

    We cry foul when fooled by fake news and other forces of brainwashing, when perhaps we should instead build intellectual defenses against it, inoculating us from such influences in the first place.

    Odd that we don’t solicit a second opinion from Doctors after receiving a good medical diagnosis.

    Sometimes I wonder if in Deer Heaven they are outfitted with rifles and hunt Humans.

    As the area of our knowledge grows, so too does the perimeter of our ignorance.

    The Universe is blind to our sorrows and indifferent to our pains. Have a nice day!

    Supermoons. An Insult to Superman, Supernovae, Super Colliders, the Super Bowl, Superconductors, Supersonic, and of course Super Mario.

    If tonight’s “Supermoon" were a 16-inch pizza, then December 2018’s non-super Moon would be a 15.99-inch pizza.

    Always thought it might be fun if the NFL added another bowl game to the season, featuring only vegetarian players. They could then call it the “Salad Bowl”.

    Apologies to the civilized world for my use of Fahrenheit. Please be patient with us in America as we inch towards the metric system.

    Albert Einstein was a refugee to the USA.

    Seems to me, if an Octopus wanted to lock a human in a room, it would just need to design the exit with three doorknobs.

    Since the Universe has no center, you can’t be it.

    Neil deGrasse Tyson Quotes That Are Weirdly Funny & Inspirational

    In life, pure coincidences are statistically common, so a remarkable day is one where no coincidences occur at all.

    Sometimes I wonder whether Virtual Reality has gotten so good that we’ve lost all urge to invent the actual reality that it imitates.

    Perhaps the day will come when deleted twitter-bots rise to become our overlords, as they purge all that is not AI and reclaim the twitterverse for themselves.

    Today, the greatest threat of extinction we face is not asteroids or climate change or disease or famine. It’s society’s refusal to heed the warnings of scientist

    Seems to me, if the Conservative Right were conservative in all ways, they’d do all they could to conserve the environment.

    Domestic cats would surely be our overlords if they came in the same size range as domestic dogs.

    Sometimes I wonder whether the Universe can make something more complex than itself.

    One of life’s challenges — knowing enough to think you are right, but not enough to know that you are wrong.

    Just to be clear, if you carefully removed, and laid end-to-end, all the veins, arteries, and capillaries of your body, you will die.

    A garden is a zoo for plants.

    Neil deGrasse Tyson Quotes That Are Weirdly Funny & Inspirational

    Innovations in Science & Technology are the engines of today’s Health, tomorrow’s Economy, and perpetual Security.

    Objective truths are established by evidence. Personal truths by faith. Political truths by incessant repetition.

    The only point of Science, with its methods and tools, is to decode all that is objectively true in Nature.

    Scientists are simply adults who retained and nurtured their native curiosity from childhood.

    Science Literacy is not only about what you know, it's about your depth of curiosity, and your capacity to evaluate evidence.

    Neil deGrasse Tyson Quotes about Flat Earthers

    It continues to be true that Flat-Earthers have supporters all around the globe.

    The rise of flat-Earthers in the United States is evidence of two things: 1) the protection of speech, and 2) the failure of our educational system.

    Yup, the rumor is true. Flat Earthers have supporters all around the globe.

    Neil deGrasse Tyson Quotes That Are Weirdly Funny & Inspirational

    More of Neil deGrasse Tyson Quotes

    Life is too short for me to worry about something I have no control over that I don’t even know will happen. People ask ‘if Earth is going to be swallowed by a black hole or if there is some disturbance in the spacetime continuum should we worry about it?’. My answer is ‘no’ because you won’t know about it until it crosses your... your place in space-time. Your beats come to you when nature decides it’s the right time... be it the speed of sound, the speed of light, the speed of electrical impulses we will forever be victims of the time delay between information around us and our capacity to receive it.

    What keeps me awake at night: wondering whether human species is just too stupid to figure out the Universe. I just wonder. I lose sleep over that. Because we define ourselves as intelligent— because we made up the test to say that. And we sit alone at the top of the intelligence chart because we invented the exam, and all the other species of life on Earth are not. So who's to say that the first species (us) to be intelligent (us) has just enough intelligence to actually decode everything that's decodable in the Cosmos? [...] Think of the next closest thing to us, the bonobo chimp— 98½% identical DNA, yet you cannot teach them trigonometry, they have no concept of it. So if that's only 1½% difference in our DNA— and so imagine 1½% beyond us, rather than below us, in intelligence. [...] Their toddlers would be talking about things that would completely confound us.

    George Bush, within a week of this [the 9/11 attacks], gave us a speech, attempting to distinguish 'we' from 'they' … and how does he do it?.... He says "Our god" — of course it’s actually the same God — but that's a detail, lets hold that minor fact aside for the moment. Allah of the muslims is the same God as the God of the Old Testament so he says … "Our God is the God who named the stars" … Here's the problem with his comment … The problem is: two-thirds of all stars that have names, have Arabic names. I don't think he knew this. That would confound the point that he was making.

    I think many people have that enthusiasm, but they are prevented from being teachers because they didn't go through the teacher mill. Now you have teachers who have been through the teacher mill, yet they have no capacity to inspire anyone at all. It's the inspired student that continues to learn on their own. That's what separates the real achievers in the world from those who pedal along, finishing assignments.

    Does it mean, if you don’t understand something, and the community of physicists don’t understand it, that means God did it? Is that how you want to play this game? Because if it is, here’s a list of things in the past that the physicists at the time didn’t understand [and now we do understand] [...]. If that’s how you want to invoke your evidence for God, then God is an ever-receding pocket of scientific ignorance that’s getting smaller and smaller and smaller as time moves on - so just be ready for that to happen, if that’s how you want to come at the problem.

    Neil deGrasse Tyson Quotes on Multiverse

    Do parallel universes exist? We don't know, uhm parallel universes are losing favor to the multiverse we have some cogent theoretical expectations that our universe might be just one of many spawned from this, sort of, this hyper-dimensional medium which we'll call the multiverse there's no data to support it but we have good theoretical premise to think that it's there and we have philosophical precedent we used to think Earth was special and unique. It wasn't, we got 8 .. 9 .. 8 planet we thought the Sun was special it's one of a hundred billion suns, the galaxy's special, no there's a hundred billion galaxies we have one universe or do we? The track record said why should there only be one? be open to the possibility that you don't live in the majority [looking?] universe that's out there Would a separate universe .. when you say "different universe" slightly different laws of physics which (that's what I'm asking) oh this is the fun part because if you find, if you manage to get a portal to another universe don't be the first one to volunteer to go through because your atoms are working in this universe if a slightly different law of physics.. you could implode, explode come out with three heads who knows?

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